Software to "Help" You

NPR ran a story today about software to help manage your life. One program makes it easier to keep all of your social media sites organized. Another allows you to keep all you notes on the computer instead of the sticky notes left all over. Google Docs got a mention because of the ease of sharing information. I was impressed with the amount of software available to help us keep our lives organized. Along with this, the smart phones, the calendars on the mobile devices and the other products sold to help us make our lives more productive are amazing. Ipods have access to the internet and phones can double as mp3 players. My question is simply, "Are we more productive?"

Many have heard about how my Palm Pilot took a trip out my office window one day then was run over by my car, intentionally. I went back to a paper calendar that I carry in my purse and it has never crashed my computer. But I admit that action was a little extreme. My daughters keep their calendars on their phone and don't feel the need for paper. One day I waited patiently while one of them found the phone, found the proper application, then entered the data, with one finger, to mark something in their calendar. Granted, a smart phone would have made it easier to enter the data, but they don't have them. All I know is that I had entered the data on my paper calendar by the time they found their phone. Needless to say, the rest of the waiting period was unproductive for me.

Also, I can't tell you how many times I have waited because a text conversation was occurring. Dishes have sat in the sink because of texting. I have waited in stores because of texting. But I digress, we're focusing on productive software, like keeping our social networks synced. I think if Facebook, Twitter, an email account or 4 and Linked In is too much to organize, get rid of some. Honestly, how can anyone get work done if they are concerned about all their social networking? If getting rid of them is not an option, set aside a certain time to respond. Do you really need another website to visit to keep everything organized?

As for sticky notes, I would be hard-pressed to put my computer on the door to remind me to take the casserole dish back to Mom's. I'm sure I could check the website dedicated to organizing all my sticky notes before I walk out of the house, but then I would see that I had a response to my post on Facebook and I would be forced to respond. Sticky notes are placed in advantageous spots so I can keep moving forward throughout my day. I don't want to sit at my computer to check a note. Once I have sat, it is more difficult to get up. What if I have an email?

My "software options" might be a little behind the times but they work. Paper calendars, sticky notes and a healthy dose of restraint when it comes to social networks have never caused me to call technical support, or forced me to sit. I can continue through my day with little disruption due to user error.

Teacher Performance

Once upon a time, a long, long time ago, things were different. Kids came home from school and played outside until the street lights came on, after their homework was done. Adults would gather in front of someone's house after dinner and talk about the doings in the community. If a child misbehaved, the adult in the house had the right to reprimand the mischievous imp even if he or she was not their child. Everyone knew their child's teachers. Teachers were the loco parentis, not only teaching subject matter but how to behave, and they had the support of the parents. Everyone knew who the good teachers were and who the bad teachers were. Times were easier.

All was not ideal. Sexism was evident. Girls were taught to sew and type while boys were taught to take charge. Male teachers were paid more for the same work. Sexual harassment took place both between teachers and teachers and students. Overall though, the system worked well. Students worked hard, teachers had time to teach and parents rested well knowing that, while their children were in school, they were in good hands.

That was then; this is now. Many kids don't play outside anymore. People live in their home, never interacting with their neighbors. Children misbehave and no one is home to know or to do anything about it. Teachers have as much paperwork to fill out about their teaching as they have time to teach. Often, teachers get blamed for a student's bad grades and bad behavior. The lack of communication and parental support is evident. Mind, I am talking about a trend. There are still places where kids play outside and parents are involved and supportive. I applaud those families and hold them up as an example for everyone. But the trend is for parents and schools to become more estranged and accusatory and extreme measures are being considered to improve the situation. These measures will only make things worse. I am talking about teachers ranked on a student's performance on standardized tests. There is nothing beneficial in this idea.

The first major problem is the standardized tests. I see two problems with them. First, no matter how hard test creators try, the tests can be biased. If students do not have access to the information that is being taught, they will not do well. And many schools do not have access to the necessary tools to teach the curriculum, including a lack of textbooks, out-dated text books and antiquated technology. Second, students sometimes do no take standardized testing seriously. I have heard student after student talk about filling in the circles in pretty patterns or failing tests purposely because they knew they would get pulled out of class for extra help and that was seen as a good thing. Students see the standardized testing days as an interruption in their schedule and they don't like it. I've also heard students say they would rather be in class, where they could learn something, then waste a day taking a test.

The other problem is how is a test supposed to be a judgement on a teacher when so many factors play into a test-takers score. The smartest student in the grade might fail a test because he or she got no sleep the night before because their parents were fighting. The day of the test, there might have been nothing in the house for breakfast and they had no way of getting food. When they did finally get to school late, they are more concerned about their hunger and their parents then what the answer to question 32 is so they just leave it blank. Should the teacher get judged because the student didn't do well? Also, supposedly, the tests will reflect on that year's teacher, but education is cumulative. A student has been influenced from the first day of kindergarten. If the third grade teacher was lax when teaching sentence structure, the seventh grade grammar test is going to be more difficult because that knowledge was built on a shaky foundation. Ideally, the subsequent teachers would strengthen the faulty knowledge. But if a student feels like they have learned the information and can not see its relevance, they are not motivated to relearn it. So should the seventh grade teacher be judged because of a faulty third grade teacher and a lack of motivation on the student's part? Most importantly to me, if a teacher knows the test outcome is critical to his or her success, they are more likely to teach to the test. But the answers to life's questions are not A, B, C, D or all of the above. By teaching to a specific set of questions, we are not teaching the students to think critically. We are shackling their natural tendencies to ask questions and to be curious. We are denying them a broad education in content and analytical thinking in favor of someone keeping their job. Ultimately, we are risking our students' ability to compete in the global workforce.

There is another way. Part of the solution means returning to the times when teachers were respected for their profession and supported by the parents. If a student knows that behavior in school has consequences at home, not consequences for the teacher, they might be less likely to misbehave. That frees the teacher to teach, not fill out paperwork. Parents should get to know their children's teachers. Study after study says that a strong parent-teacher relationship leads to better students. Not everyone has to join the PTA, just a phone call or attending parent-teacher conferences can be enough. Administrators should become more involved with the teachers. Many principals have no idea what is going on in the schools because they have too much paperwork to tend. They need to spend time each day stopping in classrooms, roaming the halls, supporting the teachers in front of the students. When teachers feel they have the support of their administrators, they are more likely to do a better job.

Ranking teachers based on a standardized test is a bad idea. If parents want to know what the teachers are like, they should get to know them individually. If schools want to know if they have good teachers, the administrators should get to know the teachers. It is not as easy as looking at test results, but it is more effective and better for the school environment. Ultimately, it would foster better teachers. Isn't that what we are after in the first place?

Isn't it ironic....

Tomorrow many of us will sit down around a table piled high with more food than we need surrounded by kith and kin. Sometime during the day, hopefully, we will think about the things in our life for which we are thankful. When most people are asked to respond to the question, "What are you most thankful for," very few say their car, big screen tv or all the stuff in their home. The list usually is comprised of friends, family, food on the table, a roof over their heads and their health. So why is it that this holiday of giving thanks is quickly becoming eclipsed by the commercialism of the rest of the holidays?

I was once speaking to a boss the day before Thanksgiving. He had encouraged the office to close down a little early and invited us to the restaurant next door. He bought us all a drink and toasted the holiday with us. I asked him what his favorite holiday was and he quickly replied "Thanksgiving." He went on to say that all the other holidays were taken over by the stores, but Thanksgiving was the one, unadulterated holiday left. There were no expectations to ruin the day, there was plenty of good food and, except for the cook, no one was stressed out from all the planning. I agreed with him then and still do. I would also add that it is one of the few holidays that everyone in America can share, no matter their background or religion.

But we have forgotten some of this in the bustle of our everyday. Christmas comes right after Halloween in the stores and is starting to in the American psyche. Thanksgiving now marks the beginning of the holiday season instead of being a day unto itself. It seems that because Hallmark hasn't gotten its hands on Thanksgiving, Thanksgiving is becoming a footnote in our culture.

Even more disturbing was a news piece I heard on NPR the other morning. A woman has been camping out in front of her local Best Buy store to be the first one in on Friday morning. She has no plans to celebrate Thanksgiving. She is waiting for Friday. I've heard of others who leave their family early to get to bed early so they can be up by 3am to start their shopping. I have seen ads for Black Friday savings starting last weekend and ads for stores that plan on being open a few hours on Thanksgiving with special incentives to come in and buy.

But what does all of this have to do with spending time with family and friends? What can people buy in the stores that will make others truly thankful? Is edging your way through a stampede of people to save a few dollars on gifts really what you want to be remembered for when you are gone? Are your family and friends really going to remember what you purchased for them in a few years? Won't they remember the time you spent with them longer?

I will not be in the hordes of people on Black Friday. I've made most of my gifts already and, although I have a few left to purchase, I can easily get that done after I have given thanks. I will be at home, enjoying the leftovers.

What's Next?

Well, the Republicans have achieved a victory of sorts. Last week, they won control of the House, although not of the Senate. The Republicans have won more seats in the Senate, though, making a Democratic majority impossible. Even though they missed their goal of controlling the Congress, they did something better. They are now part of a government that has an amazing opportunity in front of it. They can work together to put the country on the best track to long-term growth and prosperity or they can steer us off the tracks into the abyss of depression and lack for years to come.

I have heard a lot of rhetoric of how the people have spoken, of how the change is not the change that we want and of how the newly elected members of Congress are going to set this country straight. Quite frankly, I'm a little nervous. I'm not for a government that controls all aspects of life but I am for a sensible approach to fixing the problems that face us. One of the reasons we have arrived at the point we are at is that people in government have gotten very good at pushing their own agendas and not considering how it will affect the long-term stability of our nation. They do not seem to consider that what is good for a handful of people is not necessarily good for the population in general. Instead of once again pushing a narrow-minded agenda, I want to see a group of people sit down and, working together, determine the best course of action for the whole country. To keep the train on the tracks, we are all going to have to start working together and in the same direction.

We are also going to have to consider some unpopular options for the short term that have clear intentions and solid exit strategies. For instance, the war in Iraq did not have clear intentions or a clear exit strategy, although it is rather unpopular. On the other hand, the takeover of General Motors was also unpopular with clear intentions and an exit strategy. The government needed to protect GM from financial collapse because that would send a shock wave through our financial markets that would ruin our country. That needed to be prevented. So the government bailed out GM, cleaned house, and streamlined the company. Now, GM is poised to offer stock again with the IPO coming in a few weeks. The government can start pulling out, selling its stock in GM at a profit and everyone has benefitted. At the worst, the government would have been able to control a meltdown. At the best, which is occurring, the government stands to make some money and a more productive GM is looking at a bright future. So why can't we do this with some other problems? Most people agree that health care insurance is out of hand, and many do not like the legislation that has passed. The members of Congress should work together to find a way to overhaul healthcare insurance that will benefit everyone for a long time to come. Initially, it might not be popular, but most people can get behind a bill that is going to help them in the coming years.

This type of action would require effective communication. The sound bites and the angry rhetoric would have to become a thing of the past. Words should be chosen with the skill of a great political orator and messages should be conveyed with clarity. Most of all, messages would have to be meaningful. This type of communication has been missing from the political scene for a while. Some who would like to lead this country are busy impressing themselves with their knowledge of wildlife. Others are busy waving the proverbial bloody shirt, distracting voters from the issues but stirring up their emotions against others. Most are busy just pointing fingers and saying "No tax increase!" Amid all this noise, the real message is getting lost, if there is one at all. Meanwhile, those of us who want some substance have all the emotion of a wild animal about to be attacked directed at tax increases. How can we expect anything to work when the message is so unclear?

We sit on the brink of something amazing. We have the chance to show ourselves and the world that putting aside our own agendas, making unpopular but good choices and communicating our plans clearly can lead to a better, more effective form of government and a more prosperous country. Both Democrats and Republicans can stand and say "We did this" and be proud of a job well done. The American people can have restored faith in their government system, knowing that it works as it was once envisioned to work. Or we can continue to shout, point fingers, prevaricate, hoodwink and generally sidestep responsibility and run this country completely off the tracks, over the embankment and into an abyss that looks a lot like something owned by China.

So, members of the House, of Congress, people in the White House, justices of the Supreme Court, governors, members of the State houses and the State senates, what is next? I would like to know.

Being or Doing

Many of us struggle every day with the insurmountable to-do list in our minds. We mentally check the items off one by one, only to add ten more for each we check off. We measure our worth and the success of each day by the number of items completed, vowing to try harder tomorrow to get through the list. The depressing news is that we will never get through the list because, somewhere inside of us, we have decided that the list gives our lives a sense of purpose and worth. So what is a person to do? On one hand, this mental to-do list is making us miserable but we are reluctant to let go of it. If we were to find a new way of measuring self-worth and a way of making it through our days without checking items off a list, we would lessen the stress caused by an endless list and make our days richer.

We all know what needs to be done throughout the day. With that in mind, we need to stop worrying about the items on the list and start living in the present moment. For instance, the other morning I was walking the dog. The sun had not yet come up although there was a pinkish, orangeish glow in the east. To the west, the last stars were twinkling and the moon was setting over the horizon. The air was crisp, the leaves were crunching under my dog's paws and the silence was filling the air. I could choose to run through my day in my head as I walked, making sure the to-do list was in order or I could choose to enjoy that special moment between night and day. I chose to enjoy the moment. And now I have an amazing memory to relive whenever I want.

But what happened to the list? Well, I ignored my list that whole day. I lived each moment, enjoying it, letting the next moment take care of itself. At the end of the day, I went to bed, content, relaxed and fulfilled. My list was not making demands on me. Rather, the list became smaller and the items that are impossible to check off completely disappeared. I started to control the list instead of the list controlling me. The next morning, I woke up refreshed and lived in the moment throughout the day again, always aware of a manageable list for the day but never overwhelmed by a demanding taskmaster.

Living according to a mental to-do list becomes a downward spiral. We are unable to check off all the items so we have a sense of failure, which leads to a sense of lessened self-worth. That leads to an inability to check off all the items on the list which makes us feel even worse. This destructive pattern becomes the fabric of our lives and we start wondering why we feel so badly. But living in the moment enriches our lives. We concentrate on one thing, engaging each of our senses to fully appreciate what we are doing. We then move on to the next thing, knowing instinctively what needs to be done. As each pursuit is completed, we feel a certain degree of satisfaction, a degree of pleasure. We take this feeling to the next pursuit, eventually compounding the feeling of fulfillment. Life becomes an uplifting, supportive spiral in which we perceive greater satisfaction with our lives and a heightened sense of self-worth.

So why do we continue to live with a mental to-do list controlling our lives? With it, there is a sense of security and a sense of control, even if it is a facade. Making the choice to live in the moment can be scary for those of us who have been trained to live by the list for years. But I can assure you that there is a happier, more fulfilling life waiting beyond the list.

Attack Ads

It is the last week before the election and things are really heating up. The attack ads are everywhere. Local stations run them constantly, news reports on them, candidates refute them. Between now and election day, they will dominate the airwaves. But what are attack ads really? Why do candidates use them and who is behind them anyway?

Although attacks ads are designed to discredit the opponent, the truth is attack ads are designed to make voters disinterested. A disinterested voter is less likely to vote. So why would people want others to not vote? Because they have a feeling that their supporters will and, if they can discourage their opponent's supporters to not vote, their candidate wins. See how easy that is? They don't really want to discredit the other person, just make the rest of us sick of the election. That is one reason why we need to not pay attention to the ads. Voting is part of our responsibility in this democracy. If we don't vote, we don't perform our civic duty and we don't have the right to complain about what we don't like.

Attack ads are misleading half-truths blown out of proportion. A tidbit of information is packaged to make the target of the ad look like a self-centered dimwit. Nothing is sacred when attack ads are written. During the last presidential campaign, Sarah Palin's family life was attacked. I've seen ties to the Mob exploited and questionable moral values highlighted. These, however, are not the norm. The people who write these ads are adept at reading the cause of the discontent in America and exploiting that. So, although we are perceiving the ad to be attacking one person, in actuality, they are making fun of voters, assuming that we are so gullible we will willingly believe what we are told without question. At their very core, this is what attack ads are, a mockery of the American people.

So who is behind all this? Everyone. The candidates support the use of the ads, even though they routinely deny it. The money they use for these ads come from a variety of donors, and you can bet that if it is a corporation or political group paying for them, the candidate who wins will owe someone a lot. And, even though the groups paying for the ad have "grass-roots"-sounding names, they are usually paid for by corporations who have a lot to lose if real change were to come to Washington. For this, you can thank the Supreme Court, who recently ruled that corporations enjoy protection under the first amendment. Finally, any voter who passes on the "information" in these ads as if it was true are also guilty of mocking the rest of us.

So what can a person do? First, vote on election day. I won't tell you for whom you should vote, although if asked, I'd be happy to tell you. But by not voting, you are denying your civic duty and allowing "them" to win. Second, hold your candidates to a higher standard. They will listen to their constituents if they want to gain office. Call or write your candidate and ask them to forgo the attack ads and denounce any that someone else pays for. Personally, I would be tempted to vote for the devil if he would run a truly clean campaign. Ask the candidate to run on their platform and outline where they stand on issues over which they have no control but do have influence. Finally, do your own homework. Learn what a candidate is about and where they have stood previously. The information is available if one takes a moment to look. If we become active, informed voters, those who support the attack ads will stop treating us like sheep.

The founding fathers, in part, formed the Electoral College because they feared what would happen if the general public elected the president. Alexander Hamilton wrote, It was equally desirable, that the immediate election should be made by men most capable of analyzing the qualities adapted to the station, and acting under circumstances favorable to deliberation, and to a judicious combination of all the reasons and inducements which were proper to govern their choice. What was true then about electing a president is true today in all elections. We should use thought and reason to elect those who govern us, not choose because of an emotional reaction to an ad designed to mock us and make us relinquish our civic duty.

Paying Doctors to Sell Drugs

NPR recently ran a few stories called "Dollars for Docs," a disturbing piece of information about doctors being reimbursed by drug companies. Although many doctors received only a small amount from drug companies, many received over $100,000. So what are they doing to earn this money? You name it. A large majority earn a small amount from sitting through a presentation, then commenting on what they heard. Others are going on office visits with drug reps to discuss the advantages of certain drugs. These doctors are usually considered experts in their field. Some doctors give presentations to large groups of doctors and are well compensated. This system benefits both the doctors and the drug companies. Doctors make money on the side and drug companies have credible spokespeople encouraging others to write more prescriptions. But are there any downfalls?

You bet! Although the drug companies say they use only upstanding physicians, ProPublica.org has found out otherwise. "A review of physician licensing records in the 15 most-populous states and three others found sanctions against more than 250 speakers, including some of the highest paid. Their misconduct included inappropriately prescribing drugs, providing poor care or having sex with patients. Some of the doctors had even lost their licenses." (propubica.org) Some compensated doctors had no specialized degree, even though they said they did.

Another downfall is the information being distributed. Many of the compensated doctors encouraged prescriptions to be written for uses other than what was approved. In other words, if the medicine was approved for headaches but had a side effect of helping to lower blood pressure, compensated doctors were mentioning this side effect as if it were an approved medicine for lowering blood pressure.

I am disturbed by this information, as many should be. I have a family member who is dependent on prescription medication for his quality of life. When I go to the doctor, I want to know that, if I need medication, the prescription is being written based on the best information possible. But I am disgusted by the blatant disregard the drug companies seem to have for the end-users of their products and the interest paid to their bottom line. Maybe if more people were aware of what was going on and got upset, the system could change.

You Are What You Eat

I am off to the grocery store today but it won't be to a WalMart Super Center. I will be heading to a regional chain and the farmers market. Why? Because even though I like low prices and am trying to save on groceries, I prefer to not support the Chinese economy or a corporation that has its own interests over mine. Call me a snob if you must, but I will not be shopping at a WalMart.

Actually, it would be ironic if you called me a snob since that is what you are considered if you shop at my favorite grocery store. Their prices are slightly higher at times, but they carry a wide selection of products, both local and international. They are continually introducing new recipes and tastes from around the world, sourcing out healthy ways to eat and encouraging their customers to try new things. Their flyers are more about the recipes than their low prices. I am always able to find what I want there without difficulty, except for Mom's favorite brand of mince pie filling. I supplement my shopping with a trip to the local farmers market. I try to support the local farmers; it is good for the economy. I also like knowing who grew the food I eat, how they grew it and when it was picked. Lately, you can't beat the apples for taste or the prices. During the summer, I was able to get bushels of green beans to freeze for the winter and each trip included some of the best tomatoes I have ever eaten. The only tomatoes that have been better have been ones that I have grown.

But many people shop at WalMart for their groceries and there was a time that I did also. An avid coupon clipper, I would arrive at the WalMart, purchase prepackaged foods and save a lot of money each week between the prices and the coupons. While there, I could pick up a new shirt, shoes for the girls and the latest video. True one-stop shopping at its best. But then I started paying attention. According to Frontline, over 80% of WalMart's 6000 global suppliers are in China. This means that many of the suppliers for its food are in China. Every time I spend money at WalMart, it buys more stuff from China, not the US. Not only am I not helping the local economy, I'm not even helping my federal economy. I'm helping China to get rich. There are enough people here in the States that need my help. As rude as it may sound, let the Chinese take care of themselves.

Beyond that, because WalMart is such a large corporation, it thinks that it can affect legislation and it does. It is lobbying against Country of Origin labeling on food. That means that if you purchase a bag of spinach, you don't have to know from where it came. If there is a recall on Mexican spinach because of salmonella poisoning, the bag of spinach in your fridge doesn't have to say "Grown in Mexico". You might end up eating tainted spinach, but that's okay. WalMart sells over-the-counter medication and prescriptions for your upset stomach. They also skirt the law when it comes to fair practices in hiring and wages and healthcare. In short, they don't want to spend money on or for their employees, don't want to be open about where they get their food and support the Chinese more than the US.

And they continue to worm their way into the society. Just the other day, I heard about a pyramid scheme that involved getting groceries delivered from WalMart, or you could pick them up, prebagged, at the store.

Today, I will be avoiding WalMart. I will be browsing the farmers market on this warm, sunny fall day, talking with the former principal who now helps sell apples at the family stand. I'm going today because the baker will be there with fresh bread and a friend selling freshly brewed coffee. I'll then journey to my favorite grocery store for the ingredients for a delicious homemade risotto and maybe a stew, all of which will taste better knowing I've done something good for the local economy.

Political Ads Cause Bullying!

Ok, slightly sensational, but you're reading.

And, there is truth to this statement. Bullying has become a national problem. It was shoved front and center a few weeks ago when a young man from Rutgers University jumped from the GW Bridge because his roommate decided to post live video feed of a sexual encounter. It is an issue though that schools have been dealing with for years. There will always be someone who, for whatever reason, believes that it is okay to ridicule someone else. When I was growing up, we were told that standing up to bullies would help improve our self-esteem. Usually, the bully backed down. Today, the bullying is more complex. The bully encourages other to gang up on one person. The bullies use the internet and texting to spread the word more quickly. Because of the supposed anonymity of the computer or because they are just more ruthless, the bullies are more and more vicious.

Which brings me to the political ads. Never can I remember the number of "attack ads" that I have seen lately. Thanks to the Supreme Court allowing corporations to contribute what they want, we don't even know who is sponsoring most of the ads. Sounds like anonymity to me. And these ads are taking half-truths or outright lies and tooting them like they were gospel truths. That is what many bullies do. So the people behind these ads are bullies.

Which helps me make my case that political ads are creating bullies. Imagine how much tv kids are watching these days. Imagine the ads that they see. The thought process becomes what is okay for the people running, or ruining, our country must be okay for me. If they can say mean nasty things about each other, then that is what I will do. Beyond this, more teens have less parental supervision to correct them when they decide to get vicious. What they have are attack ads.

So this is what I propose. The political ads should become more about what a candidate is going to do and less about how bad someone else apparently is. People should be required to state that they are the ones bashing someone else in the ads. And children should be taught that the internet is not anonymous and words hurt worse than sticks and stones. Then I wouldn't have to write sensational titles.

It's Official!! I've Been Banned!

I've been banned from listening to NPR or any talking head on t.v. unless it is the local news. The ban comes down from my family. Apparently, they are concerned when I respond to what the talking heads are saying. Mind you, I say what needs to be said with force and conviction, which might be part of the problem. When asked why they felt the need to impose such a harsh sentence for a few comments to the radio, the response had something to do with my blood pressure and the fact that the radio doesn't care. So now I am forced to write my thoughts down so that I can get them off my chest.

First, the president, although he suggests policy, is not single-handedly responsible for the legislation. Congress is. President Obama suggested healthcare, suggested the bailout, suggested the incentives for first-time homebuyers and "Cash for Clunkers." Congress enacted them. Please stop blaming President Obama if you are unhappy with your life. It isn't his fault. The people we have sent to Congress are the ones who have passed this legislation. He only signs it into law. He could veto it, but then there is a chance the Congress could override the veto. There is a reason the president doesn't have the power to enact legislation. The founding fathers had just rebelled against a dictatorial king. They were smart enough to not put all the power in the hands of one person. Yes, he is the easiest to blame. Yes, he is the leader of the Democratic party. No, he is not directly responsible for the laws that have been passed. Start laying the blame where it belongs and stop bashing people who don't deserve it.

Second, the government can only raise money by imposing taxes. Taxes are not necessarily a bad thing, especially if you are dependent on the government for anything, like an army to protect you from terrorists or a highway on which to drive your SUV. People do not like paying taxes. No one ever has. But if you ask anything from your government, taxes are a necessary evil. The problem we are currently facing, as I see it, isn't that we should or shouldn't raise taxes. It is to start using the money the government raises more economically. Every congressman has supported a project that was near and dear to someone's heart. That person helped raised money to get the congressman elected; that congressman supported the project financially. Perhaps some were necessary. I am guessing many weren't. I also don't understand why government money supports research on fruit flies and not more on cleaner energy. I am tired of hearing people say that they are still waiting for money after Hurricane Katrina but do not want their taxes raised. And if one more person says that it is unfair for someone making a kajillion dollars to not pay tax because it is going to harm small business, I am going to scream. The logic of that sentence alone makes no sense. The truth of the matter is the middle class shoulders a disproportionate burden of the taxes. Those who make a lot of money (Congressmen, cough, cough) can afford to pay a little more, and we all would be better off.

Finally, for now, the stimulus measures are difficult to take but are probably better than the alternative. I do not like that my government has passed on a deficit to my children's generation that is more than most small countries have ever had in a year. I do not like the way that large banks got bailed out and their officers made lots of money. But I have heard enough to know that, if we had done nothing, this great country would be a lot worse off than we are right now. So it had to be. What we need to do now is make sure that we never allow our corporations and our banks to get back to the place where they need to be bailed out again. But many oppose that because they have enjoyed a close relationship with those businesses. Therefore they are willing to rewrite history, package a bunch of lies, sell it to the public hoping that we have short memories and then convince us that doing nothing is a better path to take. And I for one get disgusted every time I hear the lies come over the air...

Which is why I have been banned from listening to the radio or watching t.v. Thank you for listening. I feel better to have gotten this off my chest.

Redecoration Causes Outrage!

I read an article in the New York Times today about the Obamas having the Oval Office redecorated while they were on vacation. It clearly stated that the money used to redecorate came from a group that pays for updates to the White House and that no taxpayer money was used. It also mentioned that both Presidents Bush and Clinton have redecorated to suit their taste while they were in the Oval Office. But, of course, many of the comments afterward denounced President Obama for using taxpayer money and redecorating at a time when the nation is reeling from a recession.

Let's keep two things in mind here. First, the paint, wallpaper, furniture, reupholstering, and new carpet did not magically materialize at Mr. Obama's will. People had to make them, transport them and, in the case of the paint and wallpaper, apply them. I am sure no one would do all of that for free, so I am thinking a few people had a job because of this. Perhaps they weren't many, and probably some were from overseas companies because in the recent past, President George H.W. Bush and a whole bunch of Republicans thought it would be a good idea to have a free-trade agreement between the U.S., Canada and Mexico. But I digress. Second, President George W. Bush once encouraged the American population to purchase more without concern for how to repay it because this was a great way to patriotically support the war in Iraq. Also, many economists think that people should purchase more to aid the economy. From the way I see it, the President is doing his patriotic duty by redecorating the Oval Office.

So, it seems to me that President Obama has helped the economy and followed in the footsteps of his predecessors. But the naysayers have once again bashed him for his insensitivity and his waste of taxpayer money (did I mention none was used?) They claim that because he won't disclose how much he spent, he is once again being less then transparent. Using Republican thinking though, he has acted admirably. So why are they upset? Is it because they are looking for ways of discrediting him so they can take over the government and cater to the wealthy and influential? Is it because they want to do everything they can to divert the attention of Americans so they can continue to encourage legislation that benefits the fat cats on Wall Street? Is it so they can manage a majority in the House this fall so they can hold government up even more, effectively crippling the country?

You know what? I am getting oturaged!

The New Crusade

We have all heard by now of the conflict created in New York City. Two blocks away from Ground Zero, a group of Muslims would like to build a mosque. This wouldn't be just any mosque; it would be a learning center to help people understand the Islamic religion. No major conversion required. Instead, please come and learn. But, as is the case in America these days, many people have spread false information about who is really building the mosque and what their intentions are. All of this has lead to an anti-Islam fervor in the country. Once again, it is fashionable to be against anyone who might be Islamic, look Islamic or be perceived by others as being Islamic. This is, of course, to my dismay. I know that people are alike. We all put our pants on one leg at a time. We all worry about our children, spouses and parents, having enough money to cover the bills and what will happen in the future. What we don't seem to realize is that people who are passionate about Christianity to the point where they are willing to condone the killing of another group of people who believe differently are just as bad as the people who flew planes into the Twin Towers on 9/11.

All of this though, really just reminds me of the Crusades. It started out harmless enough. Muslims had invaded Jerusalem so the true believers, the western Christians, had to go and free Jerusalem from the infidels. What it turned into was a series of invasions designed more to rape and plunder than to rid the world of Islam, as if we could. By the last Crusade, most of those who went were more interested in furthering themselves than anything that had to do with Christianity. Fast forward a thousand years, we are being called the infidels, a group of radicals are trying to oust us, as if they could, and we once again distrust anyone calling themselves Muslim. But as history has shown, we will not be able to rid the world of Muslims. And we need to look honestly in the mirror and realize that radicals are radicals no matter what disguise they want to wear.

The Bible teaches us to love our neighbors as ourselves, no matter what. I don't care if you hurt because someone took something precious from you or if it is a "good day." Unconditional love is what is required of those who follow Jesus. I also know the Koran preaches a peaceful existence. No where does it say that we are able to kill non-believers or ostracize them for their beliefs.

This is just a long about way of saying that Muslims are not the enemy. Radicals who preach the destruction of others because they are different are the ones not to be trusted. There are a lot of wolves out there dressed up as sheep preaching a brand of religion that I think must be abhorrent. Religion should not be used as an excuse to suppress someone. It should be a way of encouraging us to be the best we can be.

Patience is a Virtue

Yesterday, I heard a story on Fresh Air about how people are demanding immediate fixes to problems facing this country, yet immediate fixes are not available, nor would they necessarily be beneficial if they were. The person making this comment is an editor for Vanity Fair magazine. He went on to suggest that previous presidents, who are considered good presidents, would perhaps have gone down in history as bad presidents if they lived in this day and age. I listened with rapt attention because I have noticed this trend for a long time and have despaired over where it might lead us.

There are times when immediate action is necessary. Someone having a heart attack requires immediate attention. A hungry child requires immediate attention. But there are more instances where patience would go farther then immediate action in satisfying everyone's need. One example is the demand for jobs. I understand the trials a person faces when they have been out of work for a long while. And they should find jobs sooner rather than later. From everything I have heard and read though, economists say that jobs always lag behind a recovering economy. You can't change that. It is what it is. So now, people are condemning the President for being soft on jobs and making it an issue in the upcoming elections, when the jobs market is doing what it would normally do, no matter how much anyone would try to "fix it." Another example of this growing impatience is in the service sector. We all want our turn first and get rather impatient when we have to wait. On the other hand, when it finally is our turn, we want the person assisting us to give their undivided attention to us for as long as we demand it. If you do the math, it doesn't work that way.

Perhaps all this talk of impatience doesn't seem that important. But if you follow the growing trends of rage, rudeness and vigilanteism, you might see a connection. As we become more impatient, we tend to react violently to get what we want, much like a two-year-old throwing a temper tantrum, only often with more serious consequences. But life doesn't have to be that way. We can begin to remember that everything doesn't happen in an instant. Government programs need time to work. Other people get to take their turns before us and we all have to share the resources we have equally. And sometimes, while we are waiting, we realize that we don't really need whatever we have most impatiently been waiting for, rather there is something better patiently waiting for us to see it.

Gay Marriages

A California judge struck down Proposition 8 yesterday, lifting the ban on gay marriage in that state. Opponents are already starting the appeal and proponents are celebrating in the street. I'm trying to figure out why this is an issue to begin with. Homosexuals should have all the same rights as heterosexuals, since they are equal in every way with everyone else.

Now, I know that the bible says a man should not lie with a man and a woman should not lie with a woman. But I also know that I should not judge a person lest I be judged. I have read story after story in the bible about how Jesus ate with lepers while the Pharisees and the Sadducees were telling everyone to stay away from the lepers. I have learned that everything and everyone was created by God, thus making them share in the Divine. I also know that homosexuals are created that way. No one would choose the life of ridicule and prejudice to which homosexuals are prone. And knowing this, I still wonder why this is an issue.

I wonder also if this would be an issue if, instead of homosexuality, this issue involved adultery. Don't forget, adultery is one of the ten commandments. Homosexuality is mentioned in Leviticus. What if adulterers could not marry? What if adulterers were subject to ridicule and prejudice? Would there be laws banning marriages of those who had previously committed adultery? I don't think so. People are accepting of a practice that tears families apart but are not accepting of those created by God. But the Supreme Court will still most likely be dealing with it soon.

You see, I believe the people who are opposing gay marriage have two issues going on. First, I think they are like the Pharisees and the Sadducees, understanding the letter of the law and not understanding the heart of the law. God is about love for ourselves and our neighbors and the laws He has given are to create an atmosphere where that love can flow freely from one to another. The Pharisees did not understand this while Jesus was walking the earth. The law said to avoid the lepers, so they did. Jesus, though, knew that the lepers would come to understand God's love if he showed it to them through deeds. It might break the law but the greater good, loving each other, would be served. Secondly, I think those who oppose the law feel threatened. They have some weird control thing going on that they satisfy by dictating how others can live. What they don't seem to understand though is that they are as imperfect as the rest of us. They would be better off trying to live well themselves, and allow God to judge others. They need to remember that we are on this earth for a very short time and eternity is very long. If they judge homosexuals harshly, then they are subjecting themselves to the same harsh judgement on Judgement Day. I don't want to imagine what that eternity could look like.

I think there is a better way. We can love everyone and accept them as they are. We can insure that everyone has equality under the law and let God be the ultimate judge. We can love our neighbors as we love ourselves and put petty discrimination to the side.

Immigration, Legal and Illegal

Arizona passed a law recently that would require citizens to carry documentation that they were citizens and would allow police to hold suspected illegal immigrants until they could prove they were allowed to be in the country. A judge ruled some of the Arizona law unconstitutional but has allowed other parts of the law to go into effect tomorrow. The federal government had brought a suit against Arizona for the law and was satisfied that the more controversial points of the law have been defeated, although Arizona is planning an appeal. But this battle is far from over. More states are passing immigration laws, more people are calling for immigration reform, and although the federal government is now deporting more people per year then the Bush presidency, many are saying that enforcing the current law is not enough. It seems to me that illegal immigration has become the "slavery" issue of the 21st century. When our founding fathers were drafting the Constitution, they shelved the slavery issue because it was to divisive. The issue was finally resolved by a civil war with repercussions continuing to this day. We can not afford this kind of non-decision with immigration.

I know that part of my health care money is spent taking care of illegals that go to the hospital because they don't have access to primary care physicians. I know that, where illegal immigration is a problem, families have to pay extra for sports activities so that illegal immigrant children can participate. I know that illegal immigrants are often willing to work at jobs that most people find distasteful and I know that many companies use them to keep costs down. For as many problems illegal immigration causes, there are as many solutions. Some people, mostly immigrants, want a policy that would eventually lead to citizenship. Many want a policy that would rid America of illegal immigrants. Neither solution would work. We are already having difficulty supporting the number of Americans, absorbing more would cause hardships for everyone. And, as a country founded on immigration, ridding our country completely of immigration is unrealistic. All of this is obvious, so what do we do?

I think we need to take another look at history for a clue. The Constitutional Convention was a closed meeting where representatives from each state discussed the issues at hand, until the Constitution was worked out. The convention members were not allowed to discuss the proceedings to people outside the convention and, although there were many disagreements, the spirit of unity and the obvious need for a system that worked motivated these men to continue until they were done. We need an Immigration Reform Convention, minus CNN and Fox News, minus the lobbyists and the fund-raisers. We need people from all fifty states to sit down, discuss what works, what doesn't, what the goals of our immigration policies should be and how to get there. A representative from this convention should then present the policy to the Congress. Instead of tearing it apart and adding spending bills to the reform policy, Congress should accept it for what it is and pass it.

But I dream. This is as likely to happen as dinosaurs to roam the earth tomorrow. Everyone will continue to argue about what should happen until we as a country start having major issues because of illegal immigration. So I say, continue the deportations and cracking down on the companies hiring illegal immigrants. We have a law on the books and it's time we enforce it. The extra jobs can be filled by people who are out of work. And if they don't want to pick tomatoes, stop paying them unemployment benefits. And if an illegal wants to move back to their country and try again there, help them leave instead of detaining them. Perhaps a little harsh for some, but so is the alternative.

Reconciliation and Being the Bigger Person

I have been reading a lot lately about a controversy brewing in New York City. A Muslim group wants to erect a mosque a few blocks away from Ground Zero. Their thinking is that the space can become a place for others to learn about the Muslim religion. They hope that others can learn that the few that flew planes into the Twin Towers were part of a radical group and that the Muslim religion itself denounces what those few did. Others in New York see it as desecrating sacred ground. The area should forever be dedicated only to those who died and those who were left behind. Muslims in the area are an affront to what occurred on September 11, 2001 and are just adding insult to injury, to put it mildly.

I, for one, did not lose anyone on that fateful day. I know of people who survived and walked out of Manhattan to New Jersey while loved ones feared for them. But, except for the overall horror of the day, I was not personally touched by the events. Even so, I have difficulty with the hardliners that do not want to accept the mosque. It seems to me that another kind of terrorism is occurring here. The events of September 11th occurred because few people felt that they were right and needed to rid the world of oppressors who force their ideology on others. The terrorists believed that they were acting in the name of all they hold to be right. And it is the same with those who do not want the mosque near Ground Zero. They are blinded by their pain and their grief, understandably, or are unwilling to view the implications of denying the mosque. They are trying to rid their life of what they view to be wrong in the name of everything they believe is right. But in all actuality, they are practicing another type of terrorism and they are continuing the prejudice that leads to more physical acts of terrorism.

An effective way to heal after a terrible loss is to forgive those who inflicted the pain upon you. This difficult process is often accomplished through learning about those who committed the act and trying to understand their reasoning. And although we know about the thinking of the terrorists themselves, many people have determined that all Muslims are radical. But that is like saying all Christians want to bomb abortion centers. By learning about the rest of the Muslim religion, we can begin to understand how radical the few terrorists were. We can also understand how our own behaviors are viewed throughout the world. We might be able to even reach across the ever-growing divide to realize that "they" are people, just like us.

To get to this place though, the people who are arguing against the Mosque need to reconsider. They need to see that a group of people are holding out an olive branch, that they want to come in peace and show that not all Muslims are trying to kill Americans. It is time that we meet them halfway, accept the olive branch and return one of our own. It is time we stop the prejudice and learn about their culture. The proposed mosque would be a wonderful way to do this. Throughout our history, Americans have attempted to take the high road first. This time, it is crucial that we do before we find ourselves more alienated because of our desire to alienate.

The Whole Idea of Vacation

I have laughed at the commercial. The woman sits down on her chaise lounge on which her husband has just hidden his laptop. She damages it and gets upset; he looks sheepish. I find it funny because I can't tell you how many times I have watched people on vacation check their email, their blackberry or talk business on the phone. They take their work with them on vacation then wonder why they don't come back and feel rested.

Now, I have a few observations about all of this. First, I think people need to feel important. Walking around checking emails on their down time can show the rest of the world that they are so important that they need to stay in touch. Also, the idea that there is something waiting for them that only they can deal with strokes their ego. But to them, all I have to say is, up until President Obama, the leader of the free world did not carry a cell phone, and who is more important than him? Second, I think people fear something disastrous will happen if they don't stay in touch. The company will come to a snag in the road that requires their immediate attention. They must remain vigilant for such an occurrence. To them, all I have to say is that if the disaster is that big, it probably won't matter whether you are checking or not. If it is not that big, someone else should be able to put a band aid on the problem until you get back. There is a good probability that someone will call in a dire emergency. I have learned that people stuck in the office during your vacation are able to figure when to call and when to leave you alone. Third, I think people are so wired to work that they do not know how to unplug. They have mired themselves into work for so long that the road back to relaxation is overgrown and falling into disrepair. To them I say, go to a national park for a week where there is no cell service. The first few days will be tough as you go through withdrawal but, I promise you, you will be better for it in the end. Finally, some who have difficulty unplugging use their gadgetry as a buffer from their family. They no longer know how to communicate with the person they once loved so much they promised the rest of their lives to them. The children they helped create are strangers speaking a foreign tongue. Work makes so much more sense. I would recommend the same treatment to you as I did to those who can not unplug. It will be difficult and leaving will cross your mind, frequently, but hang in there. It is worth it.

I mention all of this because we have recently been on vacation. We camped for three nights in a national park without cell service. Even my perennially texting children got used to not being in touch with their friends all the time. We then toured some historic sights in Virginia. Although we were able to spend more time on the gadgetry of the 21st century then, we were enjoying each other's company and listening to the opinions we all had about the sights we had just seen. We came home rested and renewed. Our inboxes were filled but no dire catastrophe had occurred. We had even scheduled a day to relax and sleep before beginning the work week, so today was an almost painless transition back to "regular life." And yet, all the time, I saw people trying to enjoy vacation while still attached to their work. The whole idea of vacation is to rebalance your life again, letting work go and immersing yourself into your family and relaxation with the same vigor used at work. Try it next time, you might just like it.

Polar bears, Penguins and Pelicans

I, along with the rest of the country, have seen the pictures coming from the Gulf of Mexico. I have to admit, the first thirty days upset me but not to distraction. Then I saw a picture of a dead pelican covered with oil. I know that shrimp, oysters and other creatures are affected by the spill, but I can't tell a live oyster from a dead oyster looking at a tv picture. Dead pelicans I understand. Helpless creatures who ask for nothing from us yet struggle to survive in the world we have given them are dying because we need our oil. We don't want it, we need it and the wildlife are paying the price for our greed.

The list is substantial. Polar bears, penguins and seals suffer because of our ways, just to name a few. Pictures of dying polar bears are distressing but aren't often seen. Besides, polar bears live so far away. Penguins live farther and there are still some in zoos. Why should we care? Now the penguins and shrimp are dying. I predict that some people will be upset whenever the topic is mentioned, then get into their big, gas-guzzling cars and drive to the store to buy something that was manufactured and then shipped all with the aid of oil to make themselves feel better, or because they are bored.

There are alternative energies available that do not require killing entire ecosystems. But many in Congress have listened to the dollar bills and the lobbyists for so long that they are deaf to the cries of those who support alternatives. Big oil companies pay millions to make sure we all believe we would cease to exist if we didn't have oil and gas. Granted, life would be different. We wouldn't have as much pollution or smog. We might have to purchase products made locally, giving our money back to the local economy. We would be encouraged to walk or bike to places, reducing obesity. Perhaps I oversimplify but I do know life would be different. I've seen the effects of less dependence in Europe. It looked good.

So the pictures of the dead penguins should be our wake-up call. We should realize that our need, our dependence on oil is ruining not just wildlife but our life. Instead of holding hearings on what happened and who was responsible, Congress should be figuring out how to get us off oil and onto something healthier. But, this crises will be upsetting for a while, at least until it is time to go on vacation. Then people will put aside the frustration of oil dependency and its impact on our environment and drive to the zoo, to see that polar bears, penguins and pelicans.

Israel and Bullying

For a long time, Israel and a group called Hamas, a Palestinian militant movement, have been enemies. The conflict goes back to the 1960's when Israel started moving into the West Bank and the Gaza Strip. The Palestinians controlled those areas and did not appreciate Israel's encroachment. Israel does not see expanding its territory as a bad thing. Hamas' response has been to step up terrorist attacks in Israel and launching rockets from Gaza into Israel. To keep Hamas from arming the Gaza strip, a strip of land between Israel and the Mediterranean Sea, Israel has blockaded the sea for three years, not allowing anything in to Gaza's ports. The other border of Gaza is Egypt, which is supporting the blockade.

The other day, a flotilla of six boats with humanitarian aid for Gaza was attacked by Israeli naval commandos. The flotilla was warned in advance to not attempt breaching the blockade and Israel offered to take some of the aid to Gaza. The six ships of the flotilla, consisting of people from 60 countries, were flagged from Turkey, Greece and the U.S. In international waters, the naval commandos boarded the ships in the middle of the night. On one ship the commandos came under attack and returned fire, killing ten people and wounding many others. A first-hand account from another ship said that by the time they woke up, the Israeli commandos were already aboard and the passengers responded to their requests. Israeli says its commandos were armed with paint-ball guns and pistols and were fighting in self-defense.

To clear some things up, a form of Israel existed on the land it currently occupies thousands of years ago. Over time, it was beaten and overrun and, for hundreds of years, other countries, including Palestine, occupied this area. After WWII, The United Nations decided to create an Israeli state and a Palestinian state from this land, with special consideration given to Jerusalem, which many religions consider sacred ground. Most of the world was for this, since the Jews had just been nearly annihilated by Hitler, except for the Palestinians, who would be forced to move. Since the creation of the state of Israel in May of 1948, there has been constant contention over the land. Israel continues to defend itself and its Muslim neighbors continue to keep some kind of control over what they are losing. Israel has also enjoyed the support of the United States and its allies in all of its struggles.

And for a long time, I believed that the support we offered was justified...until I started paying attention. But Israel has denied aid to 1.5 million people in Gaza for three years because it is afraid of Hamas attacking it. It has closed the borders to the West Bank and forced hundreds of Palestinians to lose their jobs because they can't get to them in Israel. It is consistently returning forceful blows to the perpetrators of the slightest provocation. And it complains that everyone in the region is against them. It seems to me that if a person was to behave in a manner that provokes others to violence, they would eventually lose the respect of those around them. Perhaps, they might even be held liable for the actions they have committed. Put very simply, bullies always end up in trouble in the end.

I don't think doing away with the state of Israel is an answer. But I do think we should start sending a stronger message to their government, a message that makes it clear that they will lose international support if they continue to bully their neighbors. Nothing can justify impoverishing millions of people. I think they need to start behaving responsibly and humanely or suffer the same consequences they are doling out. If they think they can withstand the pent-up anger of their neighbors on their own, they will continue along the same path. If they want to peaceably solve their problems with their neighbors, they need to withdraw troops, open borders and come to the table knowing that sometimes you have to give a little to get a little.

Enough with the Criticism

Over the weekend, I enjoyed a barbecue with my family to celebrate the Memorial Day holiday. During supper, my mother mentioned that she was disappointed that President Obama did not go to Arlington cemetery but sent Vice President Joe Biden. I am afraid my response was harsh and undeserved by my mother. I owe her an apology. But I stand by what I said. I am tired of everyone criticizing the president. Give the poor guy a break. Better yet, get behind him and help fix the messes in which we find ourselves.

Every day and at least twice on Sunday, there is someone on the news complaining about Obama. People who live near the Gulf were critical because they didn't feel like he truly was supportive of their plight. When he went to the Gulf to show support and see the devastation for himself, I heard someone complain that they didn't need him going down and mucking up the clean-up effort, they needed more help. He has also been criticized for healthcare, the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan and the financial bailout. He has had to put up with Tea Party supporters judging his decisions. He has had to deal with congressmen who drag their feet on everything except what they want. It seems like no matter what he does, he will be judged harshly and come up lacking every single time.

What we fail to remember is that he inherited the majority of his problems from the previous administration. How short our collective memory is when we have engaging personalities standing on the sidelines creating noise to distract us from the truth. The wars, the financial crises, even the current Gulf Coast problem have roots in the Bush administration. Rather than lay the blame at the feet of the people who deserve it, everyone is more than happy to blame Obama.

I have a few reasons why this is so. First, as my younger daughter so astutely pointed out, many people still suffer from prejudice. To them, an African-American president can not be qualified so they will look for ways of proving and supporting their prejudice. Secondly, a whole group of people are trying to rewrite history, painting themselves in a more advantageous light by smearing others. They are so good at what they do and how much noise they make, that many of us are duped into believing what they say. Finally, we have become a nation that finds blaming others easier than taking personal responsibility for our mistakes. And there is no one easier to blame than the person sitting in the White House.

I, for one, am tired of hearing everyone accuse others. I am tired of hearing a person who has attempted to tackle so many problems being slammed for everything he does. I am frustrated with the people who think they know what to do because actions, not words, solve problems. I am disappointed to learn that I live in a country where people are still judged by the color of their skin. So Mom, I owe you an apology. You didn't deserve hearing me vent. I'm sorry. From now on, I will be more careful to direct my frustration to the people who justly deserve it. Maybe, I'll start a new trend.

Sweet Sixteen

My oldest daughter turned sixteen years old yesterday. We didn't have a big party for her. She celebrated at an amusement park while on a school trip. Actually, the whole trip was a huge success and more than I could have ever put together for her. But the day was a bittersweet day for me. Sixteen years ago, this day seemed so far off that I barely believed it was possible.

My daughter has grown into a beautiful young lady, both inside and out. She is stunning, even in sweats and a t-shirt first thing in the morning. Her personality is warm, kind and generous, which radiates from her and invites people to be comfortable around her. There is a certain reserve though that lends her an air of mystery. I am lucky to have her as a daughter.

But all day long I have reminisced about the highlights of my first baby's life. I remembered how long her labor was. I remembered her riding her first bike at the age of five and playing parking lot for hours in our driveway. I remembered aching muscles from pushing her on the swing. I remembered her first day of school when I was more distressed than she was. I remembered the awkward preteen years when she struggled to figure out what was important to her. Where has it all gone? I also remembered that every step of the way, my job was to get her ready to be the person she is meant to be. I guess I have done that.

So now I have a fine line to walk. I need to give her the room to continue to grow without allowing my sense of loss her stunt her growth. Now that she is on the threshold heading out the door, I feel the need to hold onto her even more, but now is the time to really start letting go. I have to trust that I have done my job well, and that my new job is to assist her as she moves forward.

Sixteen has been sweet for Kim. Her celebration was all she hoped for and there is more to come as we celebrate with her family. But obviously, whoever coined the phrase "Sweet Sixteen" wasn't thinking of mothers. It is a bittersweet moment, full of promise and loss.

Happy Birthday Kim. May all your dreams come true, today and always.

The Real Crime at Ballparks

My beloved Phillies are under attack. They have been accused of stealing signs. Apparently, the pitching coach had binoculars trained on the catcher of the other team. Or he could have had binoculars trained on the game, since he was so far away, which is his defense. I have two things to say about this. First, does it matter if they aren't winning. Second, sign stealing occurs, get over it.

I was outraged when I found out the New England Patriots were accused of stealing signs the other year. It was a year or two after their run on a perfect season, until the New York Giants derailed it in the Super Bowl. The Patriots were accused of stealing signs, which helped with their almost perfect season. I understand that teams are always looking for a leg up and that includes less-than-legal things. But if it produces an unfair playing field, I don't agree with it. Sign stealing is one thing. Being too good is another. To get back to the Phillies, even if they are stealing signs, they don't have the best record in major league baseball. They are in the lead of the national league east, but there are other teams in the national league with better records. So if they are getting any extra "help", it isn't helping them to a greater advantage.

Which leads me to my second point. If someone thinks teams don't do everything they can to get a leg up, they are amazingly naive. There is a reason there is a doping scandal. There is a reason the Yankees buy all the big name talent they can get. There is a reason teams hire the best coaches and trainers. The reason people play is to win. Whatever it takes to win, within reason, is done. This levels the playing field in the end.

What I would like to know is when someone is going to get upset about the real theft at the ball-fields. Ticket prices and the price of concession stand food is too high. Stealing the fans' hard earned money for chili that gets squeezed out of a bag is an outrage. Lukewarm "hot" pretzels for more money than a burger on a dollar menu is highway robbery. Bad seats for more than someone makes an hour being paid minimum wage is a crime against humanity. I can understand sign stealing. I can not understand fleecing the people who are supposed to be supporting you.

In Memory of Delaney

Friday was a beautiful, sunny day. The weather was warm but the clouds were rolling in and Saturday promised to not be as nice. In fact, it rained during the night and we woke up Saturday to much cooler temperatures. My daughter was getting ready to go to her first prom. A nice young gentleman, a year older, had invited her. Although they are just friends, both were looking forward to the evening. They didn't realize that a tragedy was unfolding a few miles away that would affect them, and the rest of the community.

On Friday, a family decided to go boating on a nearby lake. They had a cottage on the lake and had just gotten a new motor boat. The father was driving it when, somehow, the boat hit a dock barge that was slowly making its way from one end of the lake to the other. Of the four passengers, one young lady was unharmed. One young boy, the son, was severely injured and ended up being flown to a trauma center. The father was also severely injured and transported to a nearby hospital. The daughter hit her head on the way into the water and never resurfaced. The daughter, Delaney, was good friends with my daughter.

The news of Delaney's death spread at the prom. My daughter came home in tears, the memories of her first prom forever overshadowed by this tragic accident. The weekend was long and difficult as my daughter struggled to make sense of a senseless death. On Monday, school was somber as students learned a hard and difficult lesson about life and death and how to cope with loss.

The lives of those who live on the lake will be forever affected by this accident, as will be the lives of Delaney's friends, family and acquaintances. There is something that can come from this that would benefit all. The life preserver law in Pennsylvania does not require passengers in boats over a certain age to have preservers on. The life preservers just have to be in the boat. But had Delaney been wearing a preserver, when she hit the water, this accident probably would have had a different ending. I think the law needs to be revisited. I know how my daughter has suffered at the lost of her best friend. I can't even begin to imagine what the parents are suffering. I think that this one senseless death is one death too much. In honor of Delaney, let's change the law.

Oil, the Gulf and Questions

I have watched so much news lately about the oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico. People are desperately trying to contain the spill and the oil just keeps coming. Everything about this disaster seems to be unprecedented, from the location of the spill to the amount of oil pouring out of the well. And the only thing that keeps echoing in the back of my head is "Drill, baby, drill."

The other day I read a Paul Krugman column in the New York Times regarding the spill. He said that we have moved too far away from the time when our land was polluted and our air was not fit to breathe. We have forgotten how badly we can mess up the environment so we are willing to take risks for our own benefit. We are willing to drill in the Gulf while ignoring the impending disaster. Granted, every potential disaster has never occurred. But we have chosen to accept riskier odds.

I also heard an acquaintance lament the other day over the stuff they are dumping in the ocean to absorb the oil. She was concerned how that was going to affect the ocean. I figure at this point, with all the oil going into the ocean, anything else put into it is irrelevant. The environment is already compromised.

I have also listened to every fisherman, shrimper and oysterman who would agree to be interviewed talking about how they are learning to deploy containment booms to protect their livelihood. It is difficult, on-the-job training but they are willing to do it to protect what they can. The biggest concerns seem to be what the cost will be in the future, not just monetarily but to the environment, and who will be paying the price.

So I have started to wonder why we are continuing to drill. We are an oil-dependent country that needs to feed its habit, I know. But why are we not seeking help? When a friend or a loved one has a dependency, we encourage them to "kick the habit." When a friend or loved one is insistent on making bad choices, we are determined to butt in and point out where they are going astray. Yet collectively, we resist accepting that there are other options to oil. We turn a blind eye to solar and wind and pat ourselves on the back because we've traded in the Suburban for a CR-V. All of this leads me to bigger questions. Who is going to pay the price for our continued dependence on oil? What is the cost really going to be? Does anyone feel a twinge of guilt because our environment is changing and little shrimps are dying because we need oil?

Wal-Mart: Land of the Low Price?

I have to admit that I have a prejudice against Wal-Mart. I believe this store is slowly destroying all that is good in humanity. That might be perceived as an over-reaction but I have my reasons for this statement. Americans who could otherwise not afford luxuries now have access to whatever they want at a low price. They are meeting places in many towns and bring jobs to areas that have been hard-hit by the recession. But the devil always come disguised in a form most pleasing to those he tempts. Americans are going into debt to afford luxuries, the low prices come at the expense of others and the jobs they bring here are minimum wage jobs that do not afford a living to those who work them.

I do not need to expand too much on the debt crisis in America. We have been living off of plastic for years. Keeping up with the Joneses has become the national past-time. Newer, bigger, better is the mantra in this throw-away society. For people who are barely making a living are able to get credit and then buy what they want at stores like Wal-Mart. For a time, they feel good but soon the bill comes and they struggle to make ends meet. They then go back to Wal-Mart because it is where they can afford the necessities, only to be tempted once again by the luxuries. The endless cycle begins.

But these aren't the only people being harmed. To be able to bring low prices to all of America, Wal-Mart needs to purchase products at a low price. Part of the low prices come from the large quantity that is purchased. A lot of the low price is because overseas companies are paying their workers pennies to produce the products. This is keeping those workers in a state of poverty that doesn't allow for proper nutrition or good health care. People all over the world are literally dying to support our habits.

Even American workers are feeling this kind of work environment. The store offers a comprehensive health insurance package for their employees and pay starting at $10.83 an hour for full-time employees, which sounds generous. But that is about $1600 a month for full-time employees and somewhere around $20,000 a year. Once you think about the math, it doesn't seem so wonderful anymore. One of the benefits Wal-Mart offers is an employee discount at their stores and Sam's Club stores, which begins the endless cycle described above.

I bring this all up because a local community just rezoned some land for a Wal-Mart and the debate at the meeting was heated on both sides. Of course, the Wal-Mart store was approved and construction should soon begin. Many rejoice at the creation of new jobs and lower prices. But I feel a loss today. One more community has sold out. The devil has come to town disguised as a low price. What is the price to humanity though? Are we willing to pay that price when we are finally presented with the bill? The past year, during the economic downturn, we caught a glimpse of the tab and the bottom line was really steep. Can we really afford these low prices?

Birthdays

My younger daughter turned 13 today. Besides officially having two teenaged daughters, I was reminded of how quickly time passes. Just last week, I was pregnant and two days ago she was taking her first steps. How did she get to be 13 so quickly? Beyond that, when did she get so beautiful and wise? She is a delight to be around, with the exception of the day before her birthday. Then she is an annoying person who reminds us that she will no longer do whatever she is doing when she is this age. Maybe though, she is on to something that the rest of us need to learn.

Many of us regret the number the declares our age. It is one year closer to the inevitable end. It is one more year that we have allowed to slip by. It is one more year gone forever. We have all sorts of ideas what an age means. Forty is the beginning of middle age. Fifty is half a century! Sixty is a time to think of retirement. To what can a person look forward? But the truth is we never know when the inevitable end will occur. We don't know what the next few hours hold, how can we know what the next few decades will bring. Nothing is certain so why do we have expectations about the future. Instead, we should be celebrating the here and now.

This is what my daughter does every year on the eve of her birthday. Uncertain of what the future might bring, she rejoices in the day. She celebrates the passing of another year by acknowledging that she will no longer be the age she is. By announcing that it is the last time she will be woken up or eat dinner or brush her teeth when she is twelve, she embraces where she is. For the a time, there is no inevitable end, no expectations, no ideas of what tomorrow might be. For her, there is the here and now and it is wonderful.

So tonight as I sing her Happy Birthday, joining my voice with those of my family, I will rejoice in the here and now and revel in celebrating a special young lady.

Clean (?) Coal

If you have watched any amount of tv, eventually you will run a cross a commercial touting the benefits of clean coal. It is hailed as the fuel of the future and an environmentally conscious source of energy. But history paints a different picture of coal and I think it is time to wake up and smell the coal dust.

If you have ever read Dickens, the image of a grimy dirty London looms large in his stories. For decades, coal was the power for expanding industrialized cities across the world. Factories used it to power their machines, homes used it for cooking fuel and to keep warm and cities were covered with the soot from the exhaust. To this day, soot marks stain ancient buildings in London and Edinburgh, reminders of the use of coal in these cities' growth. To this day, in northeastern Pennsylvania, culm dumps, deposits of the waste created when mining coal, still dot the landscape. At least they rarely catch on fire anymore.

But this all seems like ancient history. Industry runs on cleaner burning fuels now and not many people heat their homes with coal. So why isn't it clean coal now? First, coal hasn't changed the way it burns. We don't burn as much of it as we did in the 1800's so the amount of pollution it creates is lessened. This picture from a steel plant in China tells another story.

The US might have stopped using as much coal to run our companies but China hasn't. Their coal use is impacting our environment.

Even though, I'm still talking ancient history and faraway lands for some people, so let me bring this closer home. In October of 2000, 250 million gallons of coal sludge broke out of a 72-acre, 2.2 billion gallon waste lagoon and into Coldwater Creek in Kentucky. Just a 2.2 billion gallon waste lagoon boggles my mind but the damage it did to the land and creek as it flooded down was immeasurable. Officials say all fish in the Coldwater Creek, neighboring Wolf Creek and Big Sandy River were killed. It left deposits up to six feet thick, suffocating frogs, salamanders and other aquatic wildlife. Eventually, the corporation responsible for the mine paid for the damages. This is just one of many hundreds of examples of coal contaminating water, polluting wells, and probably causing cancer.

This is just one way that the coal industry is contaminating our country. Another has to do with the way coal companies are run. For instance, Massey Coal was the company that had created the 2.2 billion gallon waste lagoon. They are also the company that is in charge of the Upper Big Branch Mine in West Virginia, the site of an explosion that killed 29 miners last week. On NPR this morning, they spoke with people from the area. Many applauded Massey. But keep in mind that Massey is the biggest employer in the area, affecting not just mining jobs but the retail and service industries in the region. Those who might have decried Massey were accused of stirring up trouble because Massey is a non-union company and that doesn't sit well with unionized miners. The news reports a different picture though of violation after violation in the mine. What is the truth? This is where we again can wonder how clean coal is. People are reluctant to point fingers because they know on which side their bread is buttered. Violations occur and money is paid. Is it all being reported correctly? The public, and the miners, will never know.

I'm sure knowing my ancestry that there are coal miners in my family. And I realize that as long as there is a demand for coal, men will go down in the mines and extract it from the bowls of the earth. I also know that coal is not the clean solution that it is made out to be. It has a history of polluting our environment and being run by hard-driving companies that will make a profit. Perhaps the next time a clean coal commercial comes on the tv, we should change the channel and not get sold on the bill of goods.

What We Could Learn from the Amish

I read an article in Time Magazine last week about how certain Amish businessmen are succeeding because of their work ethic and their priorities. The gist of the article is that they work hard, they purchase what they need and no more, they are willing to do the hard labor and they put family first. I have read similar articles in the past about the Amish and their ability to ride out the financial storms. And I have decided that we can learn a lot from the Amish.

First, we can learn something about our priorities. Their sense of community and family is very strong. They realize that the connection they have with others is the lifeline they can depend on when the going gets tough. Those on the outside chuckle at the quaintness of a barn raising or a quilting bee. The Amish realize that we all succeed or sink together. Beyond that though was the young Amish man interviewed for the Time article. He has found a way to work from home because he wants to be there to help his wife and spend time with his children. Those aren't the empty words most work-from-home people utter. They were heartfelt words that put his family first.

Second, we can learn more appropriate ways of living. I'm sure that if interviewed, very few Amish would say their lives were empty, even though they have no electricity, no cars and no cell phones. I would suggest that is because of their "lack" that their lives are so full. They have more time to give to their families and to get their work done. By not living with so many "time-saving" devices, they have more time. Hence, they are able to slow down and enjoy their lives, making them rich and full. They manage their time so well, they actually have a day of rest. How many people can say that?!

Finally, their lives don't revolve around money. Their lives are centered on God and, because of this, it is a good bet that they don't have the same kind of stress in their lives that we do. The quality of their lives isn't in how much money they earn. It is in how well they honor the teachings in the Bible. I am not suggesting that we all pitch over all we have and start to blindly follow the teachings of Jesus. I am suggesting that when we focus on the things that really matter, we realize we are wealthier than we ever imagined.

So, in this time of stress, financial and otherwise, I would like to call people's attention to the Amish. By actually living the life that many of us dream of, they have found an ability to weather storms that throw the rest of us for a loop. By working hard and helping each other, they have more time to enjoy the richness of their life. By focusing on the true riches of the world, they have a wealth of which many of us only dream. Maybe it is time for us to slow down and take a lesson from the Amish.

A historic day; no cosmic shift

The health insurance reform bill passed the House of Representatives last night. They needed 216 votes for passage and received 219. Not a single Republican supported the bill and 34 Democrats voted against it. The bill goes to the president for his signature and the Senate will debate and vote on changes the House made to the bill. Want to bet on how that vote will look?

I am in favor of the bill. I don't think that it is perfect, as many don't, but I do think the country is moving in the right direction. We are the only "first-world" country that does not provide coverage for its citizens. Many "second" and "third" world countries provide coverage for their citizens. Surprisingly, Iraq and Afghanistan have universal coverage provided by U.S. war funding. (http://www.gadling.com/2007/07/05/what-countries-have-universal-health-care/) I have heard the arguments from those who oppose the bill. But having gone without health insurance when I was a single parent because I had no coverage from my job and I couldn't afford it otherwise, I understand how necessary this is. So yesterday was a historic day towards universal coverage.

But one thing remained unchanged. The Republicans were still the party of No. They cried foul because it wasn't bipartisan but offered no real alternative. They complained about the "back-room deals" and the lack of transparency. They used fear to undermine support for any reform. They voted as a bloc. One shouted an insult at a fellow member of the House. They showed themselves to be unified in their rudeness and ignorance.

I wonder though what would have happened had John McCain won the election. He supported making health insurance accessible to every American and making an affordable option for middle-class families. (http://usconservatives.about.com/od/johnmccainontheissues/tp/McCainOnTheIssues.htm) That sounds like universal health care and a public option. Could we have had a similar bill with Republican support?

We will never know. The U.S. has taken a step towards ensuring every American has access to health care insurance. And the Republicans have once again shown that they would rather pout and whine about not getting their way instead of engaging in the work of the country.

Happy St. Patrick's Day

to all the Irish and Irish-Americans. To the rest of you who pretend to have Irish in them for today, find a holiday from your heritage and celebrate that. Leave St. Patrick for the Irish.

There is a reason I feel so strongly about this. Many people claim to be Irish on St. Patrick's Day so they can have an excuse to get drunk and act silly. All this is doing is continuing a stereotype that people created segregating the Irish when they arrived in America. Irish immigrants were barred from many public places, had difficulty getting jobs and were treated with less respect than most people would treat animals. They received a reputation for being drunkards and were victimized by such negative stereotyping for years. To this day, we continue the cliche with people dressing in green and going to bars to get drunk because "they are Irish for the day." Many are the same type of people who would never repeat a Polish joke, aren't racist and would deride anyone else who openly was.

If you really want to celebrate St. Patrick's Day like an Irishman, go to Mass in the morning. Spend the rest of the day with your family and friends. Enjoy real Irish food. Finally, retire for the night contented that you had a good day. Otherwise, mindfully consider why you are celebrating. The world is full of enough hatred and prejudice.

What to Say?

A co-worker has experienced profound loss this week. Within hours, he lost both his mother and grandmother. They had been ill and the loss wasn't completely unexpected. Tomorrow, I will be going to the viewing with my family. I am going to support my co-worker but I am not familiar with the rest of his family. I am not sure what to say to the other members of the receiving line. Many people say "I'm sorry" or "You're in my thoughts" but these phrases seem so cliche. They don't begin to express what I'm really feeling.

I think maybe part of the problem is I am not sure what I am feeling. I can not begin to relate to such grief. I can not imagine what he is feeling. I have not had to make difficult arrangements yet so I don't know what that is like. I am not aware of my co-worker's feelings of death and the afterlife so I don't know if those thoughts bring him any comfort. Without knowing his thoughts and feelings, I am unsure what words to say to him. And I never know what to say to other family members for similar reasons.

Someone said to me once that it is more important that I was there. This week, I was told that knowing his classes were in good hands was helpful to him because it was one less thing to think about. I know that, when I've needed comfort, just having someone sit near me was enough. I have also appreciated having someone listen to me when I just needed to talk. So maybe, if I don't know what to say when I go to the viewing tomorrow, it will be okay. Maybe just being there says more than I could ever speak.

Dedicated to Mr. Bluhm and his family