This Past Decade

I have been listening to the usual wrap-ups of the year and the decade. I have also read a few from my favorite political columnists. Most of the comments I have heard about this decade tend towards the negative: this is the decade of 9/11, Wall Street crashing, housing markets tumbling and two, seemingly endless, wars. Many people say that we need to look forward to the next decade, things will get better. But I say we had a wonderful decade and should be grateful for it. We were given lessons that we needed to learn and now have an opportunity to move into the next decade with a better frame of mind.

I am aware of how devastating many of the events of the last decade were. I had friends who walked out of New York on September 11, 2001 wondering if their loved ones were alive, wondering where they would be returning to work. But we, as a nation, learned that we aren't some invincible power. We were shown to be human that day. From that place of humanity, we found new compassion for other countries that are being terrorized. Many families have been affected by the financial troubles our country has gone through. But many families are learning that less is more and more is not necessary to happiness. And, because of their reduced means, they have learned new compassion for those who have always lived beneath the poverty line. We have crossed racial barriers that have given hope to a new generation of people that previously never had hope. We have opened dialogues regarding covering everyone with health care and same sex marriage. These are still contentious issues, but we as a country are thinking about them and discussing them. We are also questioning following our leaders blindly into battle, wondering instead if there are diplomatic channels that could be used or if tactical maneuvers have to be so sweeping.

It is this kind of response to the events of the last decade that will allow us to move into the next decade in a better way. We won't be going back to business as usual but business in a way that shows compassion and acceptance of others and more responsibility for our personal actions and our actions as a country, if we have learned our lessons of this decade. That is my wish for all of us as we ring in 2010.

To Resolve or Not To Resolve

This is the question, is it not? This time of year people start talking about making New Year's Resolutions. We are all familiar with the big ones: a new diet plan, a new exercise plan, financial responsibility, a new life, a new me and better stuff for all. They last until January 2nd and it is life as usual, until December 30th of the new year.

We all know it doesn't have to be this way. There are articles in magazines and newspapers about sticking to our resolutions. Nearly every news show does some piece on how to stick to your resolutions. We know what to do to keep our resolutions without all this advice and yet we often don't. We abandon our goals, sometimes within days. Maybe the change is too difficult. Maybe our aims were too high. Whatever the reason, eventually we resolve to never make a resolution again.

I think resolutions are a good idea though, if done right. There is nothing wrong with trying to better ourselves. There is nothing wrong with examining our lives and tweaking it where necessary. We all need goals in our lives to help give our lives direction. So I suggest that we go ahead and make our resolutions. With hope of an improvement in our lives, we should set out on a course this new year that incorporates a change. When the path gets rocky, even if it is the first day, we should realize that good things take work and time. Most importantly, we should realize that quitting will never get us anywhere.

So, for me, the answer is to resolve. I did last year and, although there were times I didn't stick to my resolution, I felt better when I did. This year I have also made a resolution. I am looking forward to my improved life, and the challenges I will face.

Being Happy During This Happy Time

I happily sang my way through the grocery store today. Some people completely ignored me. Others smiled my way. I'm not sure if they were humoring me or truly enjoyed my singing, but they smiled. When I got to the checkout line, the man behind me commented on being entertained in line. Now I need to make it clear that this is the last Saturday before Christmas. At 9:00 a.m., the grocery store was busy. The traffic to the store, and the mall, was bumper to bumper. It promised to only get busier. The cashier commented on how pleasant it was to have a happy customer.

Now, I have a theory. I believe that the people who get caught up in the commercialism of Christmas are less happy than those who don't. I see it two ways. First, they are probably trying to compensate for something with all the stuff. There is no reason to overspend year after year, unless they are trying to fill some hole. Or maybe they are trying to buy someone's love. Second, they are spending so much time looking for the perfect gift for everyone that they forget to be happy. It is difficult for them to enjoy the music, the magic, the lights when they are rushing around trying to get all done.

So, if my theory is true, then people who don't get caught up in the commercialism tend to be happier. They are taking the time to enjoy their friends and family. They are listening to the music and enjoying the lights. They are looking forward to the magic of Christmas Eve and the joy of Christmas. They aren't at the mall.

It is no big surprise that I am in the second group. I have purchased what I need to, but I have not overspent. I have remembered my friends and family. I also look forward to spending time with my loved ones. I spent the morning in front of my lit tree with my coffee. I'm looking forward to driving around looking at Christmas lights tomorrow. The freshly fallen snow will only add to the beauty. I sing through the grocery store, happily.

Life and Death

A dear friend of mine lost her father today. He died peacefully in his sleep sometime during the night. Yesterday he was fine; today he is gone.

I wonder if it is better for the loss to happen quickly or for there to be a chance to bring closure to a life. My grandmother died slowly but her mind was gone. There was a time when we could tell her we loved her and we were able to come to terms with her death before it occurred, not that it helped. An acquaintance's father died slowly of cancer, years of tubes and hospitals before the end. He had a chance to bring closure to his father's life but the memories of the years before the death stayed with him for a long time. My friend's father died suddenly but she felt confident today that everything had been said and done so there was peace with his passing.

I don't think there is a good way for people to die when you think of those left here. We all mourn and suffer and feel loss. Closure or not, there is emotional pain associated with death. I think, though, what is important is that we love those around us every day as if it were their last day. As my friend found out today, it just might be.

Rest in peace, Mr. Midura and peace to your family.

Walk the Walk

I was having a conversation the other day with an over-stressed mother trying to get it all done. She was lamenting that for years they have been trying to cut back at Christmas, but for years she has continued to shop until the budget is blown and the credit is stretched. She is also a woman who is trying to live a more mindful life and will tell you every chance she gets. The conversation ended when she asked me about my Christmas shopping habits. I told her that I too have been trying to cut back which is why I donate to a few charities in honor of various family members and friends. My daughters have always been very happy with whatever was under the tree, no matter the number of packages. And we have often made gifts for grandparents instead of buying them. When she realized that I talk the talk and walk the walk, she really didn't have more to say.

I suggest to all that we reconsider our spending habits this year. Do you really need to buy one more gift for your friend? Do your family members really need to have a tree overflowing with gifts? Wouldn't someone be happier with a gift of your time? Perhaps someone would understand a contribution to charity. It is time to start walking the walk; take the first step this year.

Beautiful People are not Automatically Entitled

Here's a news flash. Just because you are physically beautiful, you are not automatically entitled to whatever you want. There are a few reasons for this. First, your beauty is only because someone else has decided that, at this point in time, you are beautiful. Second, no one is automatically entitled to whatever they want. This could be surprising to some, but I think the truth needs to be said.

Let's take a look at the first point. Throughout history, physical beauty has been a fickle thing. At times, women were revered for narrow waists and large rear ends. That is why they would bustle their dresses. During the 1920's, women with flat busts were the most glamourous, to the point where women with breasts would bind their chests to appear smaller. During the 1980's and since, bigger was better. Long thick hair, pulled up into a bun was all the rage in the late 1800's. During the 1920's, the bob was in. My point is that physical beauty is as changeable as the wind. What was beautiful one day will not be beautify another. Therefore, physical beauty has nothing to do with being entitled to anything.

Second, no one can ever just get what they want. This has been true since time began. Surely, there was a time when there were only a few people on the planet and it seemed like they could get everything they wanted. But since then, whenever someone tried to take what they wanted, a war broke out. At times, it was a minor war; other times it was a major, world war. Sometimes, it was a simple spat between siblings. But the point is, once you take what you want, you are depriving someone of something for them.

All of this has to do with the Salahis. There is no doubt that they believe they are beautiful. And I suppose many would say that they are. I heard one report that Mrs. Salahi spent nearly a whole day at the salon getting ready for the big night. Obviously, the people who supposedly filmed her day for a reality show thought so or they wouldn't have been there. From everything I have heard and read, they felt entitled to their day in the sun, or their night at the White House.

But the truth is they have taken from other people. They have taken a few nights of sleep from people who have sworn to defend the leader of the country to which the Salahis belong. They have taken time from the Congress who should be trying to solve important problems like healthcare or joblessness. They have taken time from the reporters who could be covering stories about philanthropists (as if that would happen). Most importantly, they have taken away from an event that was special for all the people who were invited.

Physically beautiful people are not entitled to whatever they want. In fact, I would go so far as to say that physically beautiful people who feel entitled are beautiful only on the outside.

Superman Claims "Kryptonite Illness"

Over the weekend, the world needing saving and Superman was unavailable. When questioned later about his absence during the world's greatest need, he said that he was being held hostage by an evil villain who had Kryptonite. Superman went on to explain that he is powerless in the face of Kryptonite. He said that he made a full report to world leaders, apologized for his absence, and expressed his gladness that everyone was okay. He is not available for further comment because he needs to recover from being so weakened.

When asked about Superman's statement, one world leader remarked that he was shocked the world relied on such an unreliable superhero. Another was unaware that Superman had such a weakness and said he would be hesitant to call upon him again, should the need arise. A third thinks we should attack the evil villain with full force, to prevent such an occurrence in the future.

Elsewhere, reaction to Superman's statement was mixed. A news reporter, Clark Kent, believes Superman fully and refuses to pursue the story. This has raised eyebrows in the newspaper business. Many question Mr. Kent's abilities to begin with and think he is too mild-mannered. One source suggested that Superman was with long-time girlfriend of Clark Kent, Lois Lane. She was seen swooning in his arms on numerous occasions when Mr. Kent was not around. One reporter for the gossip pages says he has pictures of Superman, Batman and Cat Woman on an island on the day in question. What they were all doing there is unknown.

Needless to say, this reporter will continue to pursue the story until Superman comes clean and tells us what really happened when the world was in peril.