Sweet Sixteen

My oldest daughter turned sixteen years old yesterday. We didn't have a big party for her. She celebrated at an amusement park while on a school trip. Actually, the whole trip was a huge success and more than I could have ever put together for her. But the day was a bittersweet day for me. Sixteen years ago, this day seemed so far off that I barely believed it was possible.

My daughter has grown into a beautiful young lady, both inside and out. She is stunning, even in sweats and a t-shirt first thing in the morning. Her personality is warm, kind and generous, which radiates from her and invites people to be comfortable around her. There is a certain reserve though that lends her an air of mystery. I am lucky to have her as a daughter.

But all day long I have reminisced about the highlights of my first baby's life. I remembered how long her labor was. I remembered her riding her first bike at the age of five and playing parking lot for hours in our driveway. I remembered aching muscles from pushing her on the swing. I remembered her first day of school when I was more distressed than she was. I remembered the awkward preteen years when she struggled to figure out what was important to her. Where has it all gone? I also remembered that every step of the way, my job was to get her ready to be the person she is meant to be. I guess I have done that.

So now I have a fine line to walk. I need to give her the room to continue to grow without allowing my sense of loss her stunt her growth. Now that she is on the threshold heading out the door, I feel the need to hold onto her even more, but now is the time to really start letting go. I have to trust that I have done my job well, and that my new job is to assist her as she moves forward.

Sixteen has been sweet for Kim. Her celebration was all she hoped for and there is more to come as we celebrate with her family. But obviously, whoever coined the phrase "Sweet Sixteen" wasn't thinking of mothers. It is a bittersweet moment, full of promise and loss.

Happy Birthday Kim. May all your dreams come true, today and always.

The Real Crime at Ballparks

My beloved Phillies are under attack. They have been accused of stealing signs. Apparently, the pitching coach had binoculars trained on the catcher of the other team. Or he could have had binoculars trained on the game, since he was so far away, which is his defense. I have two things to say about this. First, does it matter if they aren't winning. Second, sign stealing occurs, get over it.

I was outraged when I found out the New England Patriots were accused of stealing signs the other year. It was a year or two after their run on a perfect season, until the New York Giants derailed it in the Super Bowl. The Patriots were accused of stealing signs, which helped with their almost perfect season. I understand that teams are always looking for a leg up and that includes less-than-legal things. But if it produces an unfair playing field, I don't agree with it. Sign stealing is one thing. Being too good is another. To get back to the Phillies, even if they are stealing signs, they don't have the best record in major league baseball. They are in the lead of the national league east, but there are other teams in the national league with better records. So if they are getting any extra "help", it isn't helping them to a greater advantage.

Which leads me to my second point. If someone thinks teams don't do everything they can to get a leg up, they are amazingly naive. There is a reason there is a doping scandal. There is a reason the Yankees buy all the big name talent they can get. There is a reason teams hire the best coaches and trainers. The reason people play is to win. Whatever it takes to win, within reason, is done. This levels the playing field in the end.

What I would like to know is when someone is going to get upset about the real theft at the ball-fields. Ticket prices and the price of concession stand food is too high. Stealing the fans' hard earned money for chili that gets squeezed out of a bag is an outrage. Lukewarm "hot" pretzels for more money than a burger on a dollar menu is highway robbery. Bad seats for more than someone makes an hour being paid minimum wage is a crime against humanity. I can understand sign stealing. I can not understand fleecing the people who are supposed to be supporting you.

In Memory of Delaney

Friday was a beautiful, sunny day. The weather was warm but the clouds were rolling in and Saturday promised to not be as nice. In fact, it rained during the night and we woke up Saturday to much cooler temperatures. My daughter was getting ready to go to her first prom. A nice young gentleman, a year older, had invited her. Although they are just friends, both were looking forward to the evening. They didn't realize that a tragedy was unfolding a few miles away that would affect them, and the rest of the community.

On Friday, a family decided to go boating on a nearby lake. They had a cottage on the lake and had just gotten a new motor boat. The father was driving it when, somehow, the boat hit a dock barge that was slowly making its way from one end of the lake to the other. Of the four passengers, one young lady was unharmed. One young boy, the son, was severely injured and ended up being flown to a trauma center. The father was also severely injured and transported to a nearby hospital. The daughter hit her head on the way into the water and never resurfaced. The daughter, Delaney, was good friends with my daughter.

The news of Delaney's death spread at the prom. My daughter came home in tears, the memories of her first prom forever overshadowed by this tragic accident. The weekend was long and difficult as my daughter struggled to make sense of a senseless death. On Monday, school was somber as students learned a hard and difficult lesson about life and death and how to cope with loss.

The lives of those who live on the lake will be forever affected by this accident, as will be the lives of Delaney's friends, family and acquaintances. There is something that can come from this that would benefit all. The life preserver law in Pennsylvania does not require passengers in boats over a certain age to have preservers on. The life preservers just have to be in the boat. But had Delaney been wearing a preserver, when she hit the water, this accident probably would have had a different ending. I think the law needs to be revisited. I know how my daughter has suffered at the lost of her best friend. I can't even begin to imagine what the parents are suffering. I think that this one senseless death is one death too much. In honor of Delaney, let's change the law.

Oil, the Gulf and Questions

I have watched so much news lately about the oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico. People are desperately trying to contain the spill and the oil just keeps coming. Everything about this disaster seems to be unprecedented, from the location of the spill to the amount of oil pouring out of the well. And the only thing that keeps echoing in the back of my head is "Drill, baby, drill."

The other day I read a Paul Krugman column in the New York Times regarding the spill. He said that we have moved too far away from the time when our land was polluted and our air was not fit to breathe. We have forgotten how badly we can mess up the environment so we are willing to take risks for our own benefit. We are willing to drill in the Gulf while ignoring the impending disaster. Granted, every potential disaster has never occurred. But we have chosen to accept riskier odds.

I also heard an acquaintance lament the other day over the stuff they are dumping in the ocean to absorb the oil. She was concerned how that was going to affect the ocean. I figure at this point, with all the oil going into the ocean, anything else put into it is irrelevant. The environment is already compromised.

I have also listened to every fisherman, shrimper and oysterman who would agree to be interviewed talking about how they are learning to deploy containment booms to protect their livelihood. It is difficult, on-the-job training but they are willing to do it to protect what they can. The biggest concerns seem to be what the cost will be in the future, not just monetarily but to the environment, and who will be paying the price.

So I have started to wonder why we are continuing to drill. We are an oil-dependent country that needs to feed its habit, I know. But why are we not seeking help? When a friend or a loved one has a dependency, we encourage them to "kick the habit." When a friend or loved one is insistent on making bad choices, we are determined to butt in and point out where they are going astray. Yet collectively, we resist accepting that there are other options to oil. We turn a blind eye to solar and wind and pat ourselves on the back because we've traded in the Suburban for a CR-V. All of this leads me to bigger questions. Who is going to pay the price for our continued dependence on oil? What is the cost really going to be? Does anyone feel a twinge of guilt because our environment is changing and little shrimps are dying because we need oil?

Wal-Mart: Land of the Low Price?

I have to admit that I have a prejudice against Wal-Mart. I believe this store is slowly destroying all that is good in humanity. That might be perceived as an over-reaction but I have my reasons for this statement. Americans who could otherwise not afford luxuries now have access to whatever they want at a low price. They are meeting places in many towns and bring jobs to areas that have been hard-hit by the recession. But the devil always come disguised in a form most pleasing to those he tempts. Americans are going into debt to afford luxuries, the low prices come at the expense of others and the jobs they bring here are minimum wage jobs that do not afford a living to those who work them.

I do not need to expand too much on the debt crisis in America. We have been living off of plastic for years. Keeping up with the Joneses has become the national past-time. Newer, bigger, better is the mantra in this throw-away society. For people who are barely making a living are able to get credit and then buy what they want at stores like Wal-Mart. For a time, they feel good but soon the bill comes and they struggle to make ends meet. They then go back to Wal-Mart because it is where they can afford the necessities, only to be tempted once again by the luxuries. The endless cycle begins.

But these aren't the only people being harmed. To be able to bring low prices to all of America, Wal-Mart needs to purchase products at a low price. Part of the low prices come from the large quantity that is purchased. A lot of the low price is because overseas companies are paying their workers pennies to produce the products. This is keeping those workers in a state of poverty that doesn't allow for proper nutrition or good health care. People all over the world are literally dying to support our habits.

Even American workers are feeling this kind of work environment. The store offers a comprehensive health insurance package for their employees and pay starting at $10.83 an hour for full-time employees, which sounds generous. But that is about $1600 a month for full-time employees and somewhere around $20,000 a year. Once you think about the math, it doesn't seem so wonderful anymore. One of the benefits Wal-Mart offers is an employee discount at their stores and Sam's Club stores, which begins the endless cycle described above.

I bring this all up because a local community just rezoned some land for a Wal-Mart and the debate at the meeting was heated on both sides. Of course, the Wal-Mart store was approved and construction should soon begin. Many rejoice at the creation of new jobs and lower prices. But I feel a loss today. One more community has sold out. The devil has come to town disguised as a low price. What is the price to humanity though? Are we willing to pay that price when we are finally presented with the bill? The past year, during the economic downturn, we caught a glimpse of the tab and the bottom line was really steep. Can we really afford these low prices?