Forks in the Road

For those of us who have lived with a life plan and have followed it closely, forks in the road are upsetting. There is no other way of saying it. Do we travel the path we have laid out? Do we follow the new path? What are the benefits of both? What are the pitfalls? No one ever is able to answer these questions with certainty.

I have reached a fork. I have an opportunity to pick up extra hours at the job which was supposed to be a second job. But to do that would require that I back off of the hours I spend at my "real" job. Unfortunately, my "real" job is on one path and my second job is on another. If I pick up the extra hours, I would also have more time to pursue a path that I feel drawn down. I had a balance going for a while, until I was asked if I wanted more hours. Now I have a decision to make.

I'm not sure what I am going to do. But I do know one thing. I have been given an opportunity to examine my life. Examining your life every now and then is important to do. It is the only way to see if you are staying true to your honest self. Often, we are pulled off our course through insidious little ways. A good friend gets a bigger car so we start wanting a bigger car. A loved one gets us a gift certificate to a store that we have been reluctant to enter. Once we're there though, it feels good to indulge, again and again. We justify bad habits with poor excuses until we forget we once thought they were bad habits. We start chasing dollars instead of our dreams at work. They are all designed to pull us away from our true selves. But we are happiest when we are true to what we really want, and we need forks in the road to remind us to check where we are and where we are going. We are given an opportunity to slow down the pace, check the map, see where we are and decide how best to get to what we really want.

I have to decide within the next few days. It will require discussion with my family to make sure that what I want doesn't clash with their needs and wants. It will require soul-searching to make sure that the potential consequences do not lead me away from who I really am. And there will be a leap of faith in there somewhere too. But I am thankful to have this opportunity to have to make this decision. And, some day soon, I will venture on with certainty.