Outside the Box

I have to admit, I think the phrase "outside the box" is becoming cliche. So many people use it to describe a large variety of things. You can think outside the box, you can live outside the box, you can work outside the box. But the truth is that there are two boxes. There is the box called doing the same thing all the time, which is the box most bosses want us to think outside. It is the daily routine of chores that need to get done. It is the automatic response to our lives that has proven successful in the past and ensures everything gets done. But there is also the box that we impose upon ourselves, a comfort zone of sorts. You know this box exists when you consider doing something different and encounter a fear response or feel that you are interfering with karma if you change. It is not created because life has a to-do list and routine guarantees success. It is created because the person inside of it is afraid of what is "out there."

There are many different reasons to create the second box. Severe trauma, repeated bad occurrences, self-doubt, and lack of self esteem all have a hand in creating this second type of box. And, at times, this box is necessary to heal from whatever had a hand in creating the box. But this box becomes a prison of sorts not allowing the person inside a chance to explore and create a healthier sense of well-being. It is then that the person needs to force themselves out of their box and back into a well-adjusted world.

For those of you who are watching someone live in this imprisoning box, there isn't much you can do. The person needs to be ready to move beyond their box. You can gently suggest things that would coax them out, but don't be surprised if you are met with resistance. Be careful not to fall into the trap of enabler though. People imprisoned need to be freed. Compassion, support and encouragement are necessary in large quantities to help the person trapped in their box. But, given time, with the right kind of support, your confined friend just might find their way out of the box.

I speak with knowledge. I have lived in a box for years. I knew my box was limiting and people would chuckle at the quirks my box imposed upon me. Having to park in one of three spaces at the grocery store is a bit odd. But recently my box disintegrated and I stepped out. I feel better about myself and am enjoying life "on the outside." I am grateful for the compassion and understanding I received while in my box and am thankful for the warm reception I received outside the box. I realize I might quickly rebuild my box should I perceive a threat but will not count that as some sort of setback. I now know the way out and prefer life free of self-imposed constraints.

I have yet to move beyond the monotonous box of routine that ensures my bills get paid, the children get to their activities and the groceries get purchased. But that is a healthy box that keeps my home running smoothly. But I no longer feel enclosed by four walls afraid of what lies beyond.