The Land of Denial

We've all heard the play on words about living in da nile. Unfortunately, the truth for many of us is that we prefer living in Denial to facing the truth. In fact, it is a lovely place where things always just go along the way we want them to without a hitch. There are so many ways of getting to Denial too. We refuse to hear what we've been told. We don't look beneath the surface. We accept some form of alternate reality given to us by someone else. The ways are seemingly endless. The problem with living there is the affect it has on others. By not facing the truth, we miss out on opportunities to help those in need. We alienate those we love. We hurt feelings.

You see, I have visited the land of Denial. I don't want my cousin's wife to be sick. I want them to live well into old age vibrantly. I don' t want to know about bodies slowly becoming paralyzed, able to feel pain yet unable to move. I don't need to hear about people suffocating or put on feeding tubes or any of it. I have forced myself to listen and learn so that I can be a help when I am needed. I continually move myself out of Denial.

I am not the only one who has visited Denial. Others in my family have been there from time to time since the diagnosis. I can not change where they choose to visit. Sometimes I can not even encourage them to move. But I can always understand where they are and why. Illness is difficult on everyone. Therefore, when I am faced with an angry, puzzling odd response, the best I can do is remember how comfortable Denial is and leave breadcrumbs for them to find their way home.