Confronting Our Pasts

Over the weekend, I was able to spend time with a close friend. The kids were gone, the husbands were doing their thing. We were able to sit and talk in an open, frank way, without fear of interruption. As often happens, the conversation turned to our pasts. We talked of former significant others, loves that had been lost, regrets that we have.

As I listened to my friend's stories and thought about my past, I realized that I can control my response to my past. I can not change what has happened to me, although, in my fantasies, sometimes I make completely different decisions. Instead of feeling sorry for some of the decisions that I made, I accept that fact that each decision lead me to being the person who I am today. I like who that person is so I am choosing to be grateful for all the decisions that I have made, both good and not so good.

But sometimes people don't really like the person they are. That doesn't mean that they need to regret their decisions. That means they need to learn to love themselves. No matter how we feel about ourselves, we can not change the past. We can only change our response to it. But accepting the idea that we are wonderful people, just they way we are, will go a long way to making us feel better about what has happened to us.